The Biggest Signs Your Sex Life Needs Therapy and a Bit of TLC
A satisfying sex life should be the pursuit of most married couples. Outside of extenuating circumstances, intimacy is integral to a strong marriage. An apathetic attitude towards sex puts couples on a dangerous path to failure when they ignore it as though it doesn’t matter or think that nothing can be done about it.
In fact, many people fall into the belief that sex should be perfect, making each other reach their big-Os, etc. However, this could lead to a bad, unhealthy sex life. So, how do you know when your sex life needs a little bit of boost, attention, and even TLC? Read on and learn the answer.
Your Sex Life Feels Like a Mere Chore
Whenever sex feels like a chore, you should ask yourself why that is. Is it because you feel sex is expected of you or that you expect it of your partner? Is it because you think it should be done? It’s most likely that we’ve mentally made something into a chore when it starts to feel like one. It’s probably not what you wanted to hear, but alas, it’s often the case. As a result of the way our society portrays sexuality, just like shown in anna in the tropics characters, it seems like an extremely sexy event (which it certainly can be) that happens naturally (which it does) every single time and that each individual is satisfied with their desired needs (which is possible). There’s a lot of positive mutual communication, intentionality, planning, and messiness involved in sex, something society and media don’t tell you.
The Sex Life Feels Out of Balance
In this scenario, we’re talking about an uneven sexual balance where there might be a good chance there might not be a lot of open communication. Therefore, start a conversation like this if you feel there is an uneven balance in your sex life: “Hey baby, I’ve noticed you’ve been pleasing me more recently than I have been pleasing you. “I’d like to know how I can better meet your needs.” Or: “Hey baby, I want to start by saying I love pleasuring you, but I feel there’s an uneven balance between us. Would you be so kind as to help me meet your needs as well?”
By avoiding blame and approaching our partners with curiosity, we can also soften the blow of difficult conversations. Remember-uncomfortable conversations aren’t always bad.
The One Who Ignites the Sex Flame Is Always the Same
This is a red flag for a variety of reasons, and both parties should be asked why this is happening. It’s important for the person initiating to ask themselves: What does it feel like to always be the one initiating? It’s important to ask the person who doesn’t initiate: Why don’t you feel the desire to do so? It is easier to understand the other’s perspective and figure out the next steps if each partner is allowed to answer honestly.
You Think Only of Penetration When It Comes About Sex
The reason this is a red flag is that I like to define sex as a meaningful experience of pleasure — so a lot can come under this category. Masturbating, for some people, is just as sexual as penetrative sex with a partner since, although they are different, they are both forms of expression. In case this is something you and your partner(s) struggle with, you may want to explore other pleasure avenues. Discover new forms of pleasure by trying erotic massages, oral pleasure, or new sex toys on your own or with your partner(s).
It’s fun, exciting, erotic, and extremely important. You don’t need to feel bad if you identify with one of these or even all of them. I said previously that we are not taught how to value and prioritize sex. In fact, for many of us, sex is associated with shame, confusion, and insecurity. I’m here to tell you that you can have whatever you want with your sexual life, regardless of where it is now. It just takes a little care and intention.
